


Remember: Always dress the part

by HolmesDuLondres



Series: Remember: Always dress the part. [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Case, Confession, First Kiss, Fluff, Gen, Love, M/M, enagagement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:00:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolmesDuLondres/pseuds/HolmesDuLondres
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is back to work as usual, but his present case requires him to be more hands on than usual. Having to play the part at a royal event, both he and John must carryout the facade that John, is actually Jemimah, Sherlock's fiancee in order to investigate undercover as the event unfolds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember: Always dress the part

**Author's Note:**

> (Thank you @221BStalker for letting me write this hilarious/cute idea into this...I hope I did it justice. Holmes loves you <3)

Life had been nothing other than the ordinary of late in Baker Street. All was calm, quiet and surprisingly, there had been no need to replaster for some months now. Mrs Hudson and John both alike were proud of Sherlock's ability to manage living a 'low key' life ever since his return some months back. Now; while all seemed to be running smoothly in 'ordinary' human life, Sherlock was actually working a case. He had been for the past fortnight, thought finally, tonight some light would be shed.

_"I tell you what, ever since knowing you Sherlock, I simply cannot enjoy the local paper quite like I used to. Always looking for something to be a little iffy...what have you done to me?"_  exclaimed the bright eyed blogger as he gave the newspaper in his hands a firm shake as he turned the page, his expression completely focussed upon the fineprint words that littered the pages. In response, Sherlock gave nothing more than a nod of his head accompanied by a rehearsed verse of;  _"Hm...yes, yes of course. Quite right John, do carry on" -_ The detective's eyes scanned over the screen of John's laptop as he intently studied the email he'd recieved only moments ago, 'hmmm-ing' and 'ahhh-ing' every so often as he took in the information that was concealed between the lines. How extradordinary, Sherlock thought. Most intriguing. To anyone close by, the glimmer of excitement that danced across the green eyes of the great Sherlock Holmes was more than evident as he leaped up from his seat and cradled John's laptop across his arm as he rushed to over to disturb his 'busy' flat mate. 

_"Fancy going out tonight, Watson?"_  inquired Sherlock as he carefully caught his bottom lip between his teeth. Poor John had little time to react before his paper was swiped and the laptop Sherlock had been cradling was resting upon his lap.  _"Sherlock- I- What the hell are you talking about!?What is...oh well I guess I'll just read your emails then considering it's far more important than...Oh Sherlock Fine!",_  John was blabbering as he quickly scanned his eyes over the screen, attempting to protest his friends ways but failing miserable. Instead, he was captured by the curiosity as to what could be so important, so playful and entertaining to his emotionless partner. 'Reluctantly' John began to delve into the words displayed upon the screen, reading the email as follows:

_Sherlock, I've been doing some thinking about what you said regarding the Windsor case. You're quite right, we have a mole in Buckingham Palace. How I never thought of such a thing as an inside job before is quite alarming._

_Anyway, usually a request such as yours cannot be fulfilled due to the 'exclusive' nature of such an event, but since I'm in a position that can make it so, consider yourself added to the guest list. The invite itself is for yourself and a plus one. I assumed you'd be bringing John but I must caution you Sherlock, people will question. You're not exactly unknown._

_I'm sure you'll think of something, and please, behave. This is Buckingham Palace._

_Mycroft._

A sudden sense of panic washed over John as he read over the conditions of the invite once more, suspicion rising in his mind as he peered over the top of the screen to meet Sherlock's wild grin.  _"Are you going to explain how this will work?"_  questioned John, his tone was thick with a heavy distain as he removed the laptop from his lap, clasping his hands beneath his chin.

" _Well...at first, I was completely clueless...I couldn't even begin to fathom a suitable alias for us, John-"_  began Sherlock, continuing with a true sense of pride;  _"-So in the end, there really was only one solution. Now, before you react please understand this is for Queen and country and in no way shape or form to humiliate either you or I..."_. Sherlock's eyes roamed over John's smaller frame as he raked a hand through his thick dishevelled curls. Naturally, John was intrigued, yet the look that plagued his features read a sign of,  _'I will punch you if you do not spit this idiotic notion out. Pronto.'_

_"...John, I need you to dress up...as my fiancee."_ ; the words fell from Sherlock's lips ripe with sincerity, wearing a mask of sheer seriousness, he waited in anticipation for some sort of response from John. Skin burned with a heated blush as fists balled the soldiers side, eyes wide in utter confusion as he blurted an astounded cry of; _"_ ** _WHAT!?_** _What the actual hell Sherlock? You have got to be kidding me...there is no way you are getting me to agree to such madness! Read my lips Sherlock-"_  John carefully exaggerated each word that followed, pausing to add a sense of emphasis and meaning. ** _"-Over. My. Dead._** **Body...NO!"**

A silence fell upon the room as the pair stared intently between one another, eagerly waiting for the other to back down from this moronic quest into stupidity. After a good few minutes, sound finally shook the silence in the form of Sherlock's pleas of justification. "Look at it this way John, all it will be is a few hours in a dress playing my fiancee...that's it. You don't have to do anything else except stand beside me and look pretty while I work on the case. Please John.". With pleading eyes, Sherlock took a slight step towards John, his palms spread towards the heavens as he smiled ever so softly. Silently begging for an acceptance. Compliance, anything! he just needed his friend to abide by his plan. 

" _No. End of. You've put me through so much, always me, Sherlock. I always look the idiot. No. I can't stand there and act out the part of your fiancee let alone wearing a dress! it just wouldn't be decent._ " The words fell from John's pursed lips in a tamed protest of moral ground; truthfully, he didn't want to -act-. Regardless of a dress being involved, the whole concept of faking such a committment was percieved as wrong for John, he'd always hoped the one time he'd be betrothed would be for real. The real deal, the one time it mattered. Not this. Not now, Sherlock didn't mean it like John had so often hoped. It just wasn't right in John's mind.

Sharply, Sherlock inhaled and closed the space that remained between the pair and placed a single hand upon the shoulder of his companion. Smiling down at John, he spoke with a tender caress of a tone, words fueled by sincerity and meaning as he parted his words in verse; "John, in every marriage you get one chance to say,  _"I need you to do this with me". And there's only one answer when somebody says that..."_  - a brief moment of silence fell upon the pair as Sherlock's eyes remained fixed upon John, watching every move he made with a keen eye. Suddenly,  a roar of laughter erupted; John had stumbled into a fit of hysterical laughter. Desperately, the doctor tried to compose himself, catching his breath as he finally composed himself enought to speak.  

_"Did you just_ _quote the Simpson's movie to me, Sherlock?"_ , a sheepish grin cascaded upon Sherlock's lips as he shrugged, deciding it was best to just move past what he had said and pulled the best line he could manage. With a smug attitude, Sherlock raised his brow, stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trousers and leaned towards John on the heels of his feet.  _"Hey,_ _it could be dangerous..." -_ The Doctor's eyes widened as he felt his own demeanour shift. He should be furious at his psychotic flat mate, but now, how could he be? Inahling deeply, John's lips pulled up into beaten grin as he raised both hands in surrender. 

_"Fine, I'll dress up as your fiancee..."_ \- The words fell from John's lips as his smile softened, he would do anything for Sherlock. Anything at all. Almost child like, Sherlock threw his arms around John, grinning with pure excitement as he jumped a little on the spot. " _Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh John, thank you!",_ excitement surrounded the pair, filling the entire room. 

It was enough to leave Mrs Hudson softly giggling to herself as she struggled with a box of shoes,dresses and yes, that was a wig. " _Oh_ _Sherlock, I have just the thing you boys will need now go suit up, Mycroft_ _called and said your car will be here soon-"_  The old lady glanced over at John with a gleeful smile, picking up instantly on his nerve. Reassuringly, she cood up at him and continued speaking, " _-...I promise John, you're going to_ _look lovely when I've finished."_

Swiftly, Sherlock took his exit. Leaving the room wearing a smirk that spoke a thousand words as he made his way back towards his room to change. He was after all, presenting his fiancee to the Queen of England.  Meanwhile, Mrs Hudson had already began working on a rather nervous John. She'd had him parading around the living room in five different dresses, he'd stumbled and tripped in his attempts at walking in heels, and to top it off, how he was not blind he did not know.

Somehow, John just couldn't grasp the concept of not blinking whilst mascara was being applied. A few moments later, Sherlock came strolling back into the lounge, donned in a full suit complete with tuxedo and a bow tow.  _How dapper_ , John thought as his lips parted in a silent gasp. A brief moment of silent tension lingered as John stared up at his ignorant friend, he'd still yet to turn and face him. To see what Mrs Hudson had done to him. Speaking of, John hadn't seen the finished work of Mrs Hudson either...

As elegantly as he could manage, John rose to his feet, taking a moment to adjust to his heels before moving steadily to observe his reflection in the mirror. HOLY SHIT. He actually looked...like a woman! His 'hair' was long, blonde and curled into a twist that fell over his left shoulder, clipped to the side with a delicate white and pink lilly. It's slender petals contrasting perfectly with the golden tones of John's new locks; highlighted by the soft blush that warmed his cheeks. His eyes? They were softened with a shimmer of pearl and lined with a thin slick of black to exhalt the natural curve of John's eye. Surprisingly, he looked mighty fine! 

John was just about to address Sherlock directly when the detective pulled himself away from attemtping to tame his rebellious curls, seemingly freezing as his eyes caught sight of John's new image. Now, he thought the blogger was attractive in his own ways before the make over...but now? His lips parted in a dribble of letters; words that jumbled into a mess of;  _"ohuhjohiwo",_ Of course, the great Sherlock Holmes couldn't let his reputation slip. Instead, he tugged his smile up into a smug smirk and uttered the words almost sedutively; " _You make such a pretty woman, Jawn...Wish you'd have worn a shorter dress. This one is far too long...look, it hides those sexy legs of yours!_ ". Playfully, Sherlock took a hold of the hem of John's dress and hitched it up just above his knee to prove a point before flashing a wink towards Mrs Hudson.  _"Fantastic job, Mrs H!"_  praised Sherlock.

_"Sherlock!-"_  John protested as he took control and lowered his dress again, eyeing Sherlock with a look that was cold and sharp; " _-I hate being the woman! Next time, if there is a next time. You can wear the skirt!"._ Amused, Sherlock stood at John's side, shaking his head before reaching out to take both of John's hands, " _Remember John, talk like a woman not...well, you okay?" -_ To finish John off all the more, Sherlock wrapped his arms around John's frame and pulled him against his chest, hugging him close for pure annoyance. 

At that moment, Lestrade came waltzing into the lounge of 221B Baker Street. In his hand he was carrying a case file intended for Sherlock, and in the other; his usual of a sugar ring donut. If he hadn't had a mouthful, he would've spared himself the choking as he gawked in shock at the sight before hime. Sherlock Holmes embracing a woman! Words had rarely failed the DI, but on this occasion, it took none other than Molly Hooper to stumble in like a bumbling klutz and audibly gasp her thoughts out loud. 

_"Who...Sher- Who...Who is she?",_ stammered the confused pathologist. Her eyes wide as she desperately tried to refrain from breaking down. Sherlock's eyes darkened as he gave a wicked smirk, to which he recieved a sharp jab from John's heels, accompanied by a look of ' _You fucking owe me, Sherlock. I mean it'._ This silence lingered for no more than three seconds while Sherlock moved to stand proudly, keeping one hand looped around his (wo)man's waist; " _This is my Fiancee, Jemimah. I know, I know, Sherlock Holmes with a woman. Though, I must admit, that night we met at the bar, she blew me away. I fell for her instantly so I asked for her hand. What Jemmy is doing here is none of your concern, so save yourselves the trouble of asking. Ah yes, I call her Jemmy." -_  That was it. John's anger and humiliation had peaked; he had to put an end to it. He opened his mouth to speak but Molly cut him off with a blabber of; " _Wow...Uh, Okay, I never thought Sherlock Holmes would...that's uh wonderful...I'm really ha...I need to go!"_  - Molly squeaked out her cry as she scurried out of the flat in haste, leaving them all behind in an awkward silence.

Finally, Lestrade cleared his throat, motioning for the door as he handed the casefile to Sherlock, giving 'Jemimah' a quick nod before making his exit. " _I'd best follow after her...nice to meet you uh, congratulations? whatver, you understand what I mean, Sherlock. Have a nice evening!" -_ The moment it's just Sherlock and John left in the loung, John turns sharply and thrusts Sherlock back into the wall; glaring coldly as he hissed; " _"Seriously?! Jemimah of all the bloody names?! And at a bar? What is wrong with you? Why didn't you just tell them it was me?"_

This reel of questions went on for a while, leaving Sherlock pressed against the wall, wearing a blank expression as he pressed his lips into a thin line. Trying his best to surpass the smirk that threatened to make an appearance; instead, he bluntly spoke the words that came to mind; " _John, if you don't shut up...I'll kiss you right here, right now._ ". Had, wait? John fell silent mid sentence, staring with wide eyes at the emotionless detective as he uttered a curious protest of, " _Because!?"_ , knowing instantly, as soon as the word left his lips that he'd regret questioning.

" _Because, Jawn, you're my fiancee, and that means I can do all of that if I so please, so pucker up baby!_ ", Sherlock smirked as he spoke, leaving Mrs Hudson stumbling in a fit of laughter as she stood in two minds between the landing and the lounge. Face blushing from laughter as she clutched the air for 'support'. Bless, the event that followed was one to record. In haste, John shoved back from Sherlock and crossed his arms over his chest as he spat a sharp, child like demonstration of revolt. " _God Dammit Sherlock! I refuse to go! That's it! I'm not going to this party with you!"_ John hissed through gritted teeth.

Sherlock's lips puckered into a playful pout as he challenged the blogger's 'protest', moving to take John's wrists into his hands. "You wouldn't! You love me too much to leave me on my own like that, John! Besides, the thrill of the chase, the blood pumping through your veins. Just the two-" Abruptly, John cut Sherlock off; "Cut the crap Sherlock, I've heard all of that before and it won't work-" he paused for a moment, to collect his thoughts...and his bag before smiling up at Sherlock with a bemused grin. Tonight was unusual, but it would certainly be interesting. In a cheery tone, John continued to speak, "-but, I'll go with you.".

The two shared a silent smile as the sound of a car honking outfront alerted the arrival of their means of getting to the palace. In a most gentlemanly fashion, Sherlock extended his hand to John and laced their fingers as they took one anothers hand. Mrs Hudson stood to the side, hankerchief raised to the corner of her teary eyes as she waved her boys off to their night at the palace. She hoped, as did many, that this act would bring the two to realise just how perfect they truly are for one another.

As soon as both John and Sherlock were buckled into the back seats of the car, they settled down to wait out the journey to the palace; both exceptionally amused and excited for what the night had in store. This being the case, the whole facade, and of course; the party in general.

**Author's Note:**

> What happens next, well...you'll just have to wait and see. || TO BE CONTINUED ||


End file.
